FAQ

The sacraments make Christ present in our midst. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. The Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the church.

What should a couple do when they decide they want to marry in the Catholic Church?

They should contact their parish as soon as possible (at minimum nine months prior to the wedding date) and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person who is responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various programs that are offered.

Why does the church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program?

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

What kinds of marriage preparation programs does the church offer?

Depending on the parish several may be available. There are three primary programs in the Diocese of Greensburg: Mentor Couple, Engaged Encounter and Evenings for the Engaged.

What key issues are covered in marriage preparation?

Marriage preparation programs help couples to understand the Christian and the human aspects of marriage. Typical topics include, the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood and Natural Family Planning; finances; and family of origin.

What if our schedules and locations are conflicting with the marriage preparation program offerings?

Your marriage preparation is a primary duty of your pastor. The programs that are used by the diocese are there to assist the pastors to meet the needs of their parishioners. If your schedules or locations prevent you from attending a program then it is best to discuss it with your pastor who can take on that preparation activity.

Do we need to complete our marriage preparation within the Diocese of Greensburg?

Not necessarily, but you must consult with your pastor first to be certain the program you wish to take outside of the diocese is one that is acceptable. Without that permission you may have to forego your wedding until a properly credentialed preparation program is completed.

Why is the church concerned with cohabitation?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church points out that some couples claim a right to live together if they intend to marry later. Although the couple may be sincere in their intention, the catechism stresses that human love is not compatible with “trial marriages.” Rather, "it demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another."

Other reasons for living together include convenience, financial savings, companionship and security, and a desire to move out of their parents’ house.

If you are a cohabiting couple who has chosen to marry, the Catholic Church welcomes your decision to marry. In general, the church's position is that of reconciliation. We are glad that you recognize the need to return to the church to establish the proper relationship for you, your fiancé and God in this covenant sacrament. This means too that you will need to discuss this situation with the pastor or parish staff person who will be working with you to prepare for your marriage and express your willingness to reconcile yourselves to God.

What does the church mean when it talks about marriage as a covenant relationship?

Every marriage matters, because marriage comes from the hand of God. God brings a man and a woman together to love and support each other. Their love becomes visible in the children they bring into the world and in their acts of generous service. In Catholic teaching, the valid marriage between two baptized Christians is also a sacrament. The love between the spouses symbolizes Christ’s love for the church.

Do Catholics ever validly enter into non-sacramental marriages?

Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the church, are non-sacramental. With permission a priest or deacon may witness such marriages.

What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage?

Just as individual states have certain requirements for civil marriage (i.e. marriage license) the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the church. A valid
Catholic marriage results from four elements:

The spouses are free to marry.
They freely exchange their consent.
In consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and to be open to having children.
Their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized church minister. Exceptions can be given, but only by a church authority.

If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized by the church?

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage, the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a "permission to enter into a mixed marriage." If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a "dispensation from disparity of cult." Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?

For Catholics marriage is not just a social or family event but a church event. For this reason, the church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

If the situation warrants it and the local bishop gives permission, a Nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that Communion is not given to the non-Catholic since the general law of the church does not allow it. In such instances, it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside Mass. This is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person.

If two Catholics or a Catholic and non-Catholic are married invalidly in the eyes of the church, what should they do about it?

They should approach their pastor or administrator to try to resolve the situation.

When a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, must the non-Catholic promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith?

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

Are expensive flowers, clothes and other accompaniments required for a wedding celebration?

The Rite of Marriage makes no reference to any of these cultural elements. The focus of the couple should be on the celebration of the sacrament. Pastors repeatedly point out that a couple does not have to postpone the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage because they cannot afford such things.

How much does it cost to get married in the Catholic Church?

Dioceses often regulate the stipend or offering to the church that is customary on the occasion of a wedding. This might also include the fee for the organist and vocalist. In a situation of true financial difficulty couples can come to an agreement with their pastor so that true financial hardship will never prevent a Catholic marriage from taking place.

What is a Nuptial Mass and when can a couple have one?

A Nuptial Mass is a Mass which includes the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated within Mass.

If the situation warrants it, and the local bishop gives permission, a Nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that Communion is not given to the non-Catholic since the general law of the church does not allow it.

In such instances it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside Mass. This is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person.